You always hear people say things about how quickly your life can change by a chance encounter or random conversation, but I don't think it fully resonates until you yourself experience it. For me, it was in the form of a response from a simple question I posted on social media. The question was not intended to bring about what it did, but looking back now....I could not be more thankful that I decided to seek advice that random night the way I did.
As I lay on this unfamiliar couch tonight 1,800 miles from my "safe place"/comfort zone wide awake at 2 am, I cannot help but reflect back on the past few months since that post. The sheer fact that I am here is mind-blowing to me knowing how calculated I am in every respect. A complete stranger took time out of his day to respond...not with just a simple response you would typically give a stranger, but with a full-out detailed message with insight and rationale. I don't think I will ever delete that original thread of messages between the two of us. He was genuine, but direct without motive or intention. His ability to communicate was unlike anything I had ever witnessed.
When I found the courage to ask him what compelled him to respond to that post, he explained the irony in how similar our current situations were, despite very different paths that had led us to that point. Days went by and turned into months...messages turned into texts....texts turned into calls...calls turned into video messages....that all became plans, but more importantly that all became real and undeniable quicker than I had ever imagined it could. To say it was a whirlwind would imply that it was out of control and unpredictable, so I cannot describe it as such. Regardless of the pace, it was the most rational thought-out decision about a person I had ever made (which should not make any sense whatsoever)
When we met in person a few days ago, it did not feel like the first time at all. In the tiniest details, he had considered me and my needs and made me feel at home in every sense. I have literally never had anyone make and pack me a bottle of water or give me their bed when I was exhausted. The amount of understanding and compassion this man is capable of never ceases to amaze me. He took the time to "get me" and praises the quirkiest side of me that few have ever even seen, all in less than three months.
On our trip, we stumble upon a Vegas street performer who sounded like an angel. Every lyric she sang perfectly described everything that was visceral, yet deeply inept about my feelings and rationalizations. Instead of standing there astounded, I walked away at one point because it hit me like a ton of bricks. I refused to let him see the effect it had on me, even when he drew the same parallel I had and made the most beautiful big deal about it. Did I seriously lack the maturity to recognize and be able to fully appreciate what was happening before my eyes or was I so guarded that I prevented such? Full circle, I am quite positive it is the latter.
We evolve from our experiences, for better or for worse. I wish I could tell you that my evolution over the last two years was something not representative of full out survival: fight or flight mode, but I can't. All I know at this moment is that meeting someone who challenges you to push past what you have become is terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time and will keep you up until 2 am when you should be asleep next to them in bed.
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