Page 71

Page 71 - After my first break-up post-loss, a Vietnam Veteran pilot who teaches CRM for HEMS pilots reached out.  It was the first time in a long time someone's words resonated with my soul.  


"Natalin, are you okay?"

---Yes, just hurt. I was ghosted by someone I let in. I did it to myself...

"Did you ever stop to think that when he looked at you and what you were doing and considered what you had been through, that he might have felt inadequately equipped to be with you.  Strong, fiercely independent women are oddly intimidating to most of us. 
Everything about you radiates that you are a good woman, so its highly possible that you elevated a sense of consciousness in him he might have not been ready for or wanted. You see, good men don't want to hurt good women.  They are aware of what you deserve and come to the realization that they may not be capable of it or the right person for the job.  I know its hard for you to see it right now, but thank them for "ghosting" you.  It probably hurt them deep down more than you know, but they actually did it for you in the long-run."

---The price one must pay for having to be strong...

"I'm sorry.  When I am in front of CRM classes, I always close my eyes and see you holding your daughter.  I want so badly for you to understand something.  I've watched you and it takes me back every time.  There were so many of you that I had to look in the eyes. You see the right type of man for you is probably the one who died on the battlefield.  But, the one who was on it with him will understand that too."

I didn't know until later that he married his friend's widow from the war.  It was why he had always understood my journey from the beginning.  She had past years ago after her battle with cancer, but I cannot imagine that she would have spoken it any better than he did.   The craziest thing about our meeting was that he had met my husband and watched him fly.  He once described him as "the one who always got all the promotions, the perfect officer type."  If you knew my husband at all, you are smiling right now at how perfect that summed him up.  

He was brilliantly accurate about everything he ever said.